My Grandson

Something New...Ebay Auctions..

I'm trying something new today
because I've had a bout of writer's block lately

So I'm off to have a little fun
and when my money is gone I'm done

I'm a buyer; not a seller

Do not be paralyzed by the difficulties
the possibilities are endless
All that is needed is to overcome the unforeseen
FEAR is the mind killer

Paralyzed and need more information?

S.S.D.D.

Locked up again
This a.m.
Reaching for my pain meds what a chore
It's really becoming a bore
Minutes pass on the clock
Waiting for the pain to stop
When that time comes
I'll be able to move some
Play bumper walker around the house
Trying to be quiet as a mouse
After all it's three in the morning
A giggle lets out as I hear snoring
Around the corner and down the hall
Trying hard not to crash into the wall
Made it to my destination
Closed the door to the loo of anticipation

Forsaken

Since I haven't heard from you in years
I will shed no more tears
To think we were once good pals
You must have found other gals
To feed your need
My heart will no longer bleed
For a closely held friendship I once cherished
That you placed on the pyre to perish
It is indeed sad to say
The great loss I feel on this day
Don't you see
Why have you forsaken me

Stay The Course

Today I turned fifty-five
Regardless of my healths' nose-dive
I'm happy as a clam
Even though my poetry was caught up in a scam
I stay the course
To muster up the force
To continue on with the everyday activities
The pain causing captivity
I feel I'm a burden to everyone around me
No cure unfortunately

Passing The Buck

I have so much to say
Not enough time let's pray
For health and wellness for all ones sake
Oh My Gosh! they made a mistake
In ones diagnosis of the strain
So that's why there's so much pain
Take two of these
If you please
Don't call us in the morning
My pain is soaring
There is nothing left in the can
The buck being passed again and again
Follow the white rabbit
How far down that hole must one go

Adoptive Family

Drifting out to sea
Drifting effortlessly
Messages are coming back to me
One giant wave spat it back out to me
My letters go unanswered yet I stay the course
By keeping in touch I feel like I've just got kicked by a horse
I then realize I would never see them again it's just an empty nest
Now I've been punched in the chest
They left me to fend for myself unaware of my state
Health failing I should have known better now it's too late

Curveball

Double plot you see
For him and me
He's twelve feet under
I'm kicking myself for that blunder
At thirty seven I became a widow
With a seven year old in tow
I had a great job and a brand new condo
How was I to know
Body now shattered and I'm on my last nerves
Life throws a lot of curves
No longer a viable entity
Not wanting any pity
When it's my turn to meet the Reaper
I'll just close my peepers

The Rest Home

I am so glad to hear from you
Every day I wake up blue
If my siblings would've had their way
You would have been lost to me forever and a day
This is how I truly feel
They lack compassion reciting it's no big deal
To watch me fall to my knees
Begging them not to do this please
Which fell on deaf ears
My cheeks are blood stained tears
You are unaware of their treachery
Loss of blood could send me to the cemetery
As the back of my shirt turns bright red with blood
From the stabbing blows that came down with a thud
The white noise makes itself known
Sending me into the abyss of the codone

Sleepover

I hold friendship very dear
Especially one of twenty years
Not being able to have that kind ever before
Moving constantly what a bore
Loosing childhood friends
Recalling their tragedies at the end
An entire family wiped out
Save one by a sleepover we shout
That drunken driver will never know
How much damage he caused when he lost control
He not only lost his life
He also took his new wife
Along with them the family of my best friend
Now at age eleven
She is an orphan

Shoulda Coulda Woulda

Shoulda kept my mouth shut
Coulda been on the path of my dreams
Woulda it really have made a difference

Only Child

The girl with the chestnut hair
She didn't know how to share
Until she was grown
And had children of her own
She was my own and only
They taught her how not to be lonely

My Daughter

A daughter brings rainbows and sunshine to brighten your days
with joy and laughter in her loving ways
A daughter is to cherish and hold
as she grows older opinions may become bold
A daughter is an enchanting blessing that comes from within
to love unconditionally forever and again

Breaking Apart

My fractured and dismembered family
It's sad they don't want to communicate with me
As I slow down and grow older I have so much to give
Taching out to just live
I will do my part to stay in touch
It's such a loss for the kids involved with Mommy's issues and such
One day there will be time for reflections to mate
Fore I have already passed through Hell's gate

Loss Of Faith

I feel completely and utterly destroyed
My doctor does not believe in me anymore
I have become a canumdrum
Since I'm moving I'm no longer his problem

The Report

I have an allergy in my cells?
After two go rounds you'd think there would be bells
Going off in his head
The cause A Big Fat ? Mark he'd written on the report instead
No suggestions of research of the cause
You'd think he needs to take pause
To delve into his desk reference book
Or to the internet for solutions to look
Maybe he would gain some insight
And I would be able to sleep through the night
To start the journey of my dreams
To wake up without the screams

My Rock

Thank you for being there, that showed you care enough
To take on Mr. Reaper, that must have been tough
The race with the Reaper is now in the past
Without you she would have been dead last
You gave back what would have been lost
At such a considerable cost
Of yourself being caught off guard
I'm proud of you for taking charge
It must have been intense, watching those seconds tick...tock
For this action you took I'm eternally grateful; after all she is my rock

The Point

The Tooth Fairy is a fake, but the Closet Monster is real. It's true. I met him; twice, once as a child and my next encounter as a fully grown mature adult. Some people with closed minds have no idea of what reality is. They are the ones who check under their bed before retiring for the night praying for fame and fortune; for themselves, not giving a rats P-Do-D for anyone or anything. These are the people who excel at making other people's lives a living hell! I've had my fair share of these pesky little critters and it took years of looking inward to rid myself of these spirit killers. Unfair? Life is just that; cruel and unforgiving. Do not become complacent within that bubble; a sharp prick and POOF!...Gone. What you've lost is nothing in comparison to what you have gained that will be passed on to others. If you just happen to be one of the fortunate few to be chosen; shown the way in...There are no boundaries for those that have found the point.

Say When

It's not about freeing the radicals
It's this bloody dependent sabbatical
Mood swings and stress levels running on high
So thankful for the rent-a-man with option to buy
Body broken and dreams shattered it's emotionally rough
Safe within the bubble yet when is it time to say I've had enough

The Market

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, aka O.C.D.; my daughter accused me of having this affliction one day when we were at the market. I didn't know what O.C.D. was until that day... a lot of other people were enlightened as well; as she observes me re-arrange some items in the cart she blurts out, "MOM! YOU'VE GOT O.C.D.!" she said this with such intensity that I darn near jumped out of my skin; was it that she used such a big word for an eight year old and she knew it's definition? or was it the delight in knowing something I didn't.
I respond rather quickly,"I like my cart organized; it's a quirk." I was hoping she would drop the topic; no such luck. She replies,"But Mom; you do it all the time; it's embarrassing". "Well golly gee whiz honey that's my job...so; are we there yet?" I said with a smirk.

The Reaper v. The Taxman

Mr. Reaper is patient...It's due process, when your number is up; it's up. There are no bargains, deals or debates. If you have never tasted that piece of pie in the sky... when the time comes (and it will) Mr. Reaper is there; waiting for you, and in that out stretched fiendish hand is his promise to you; the deed to the proverbial farm. It's yours free and clear; all he asks in return is for your soul.You come into this world with nothing kicking and screaming and you leave it maybe just a little wiser. It's the same all over. There is no escape, no one gets out alive fore the taxman cometh; to take what he thinks is his from the few that have temporarily staved him off to the many that feel they can cheat him out of his hunger. So, take what you may; try if you can. I will live again, in another time and at another place. I am an old soul with many past lives; yet only a few in this souls current life that truly gets me. There is nothing for certain except death and taxes.

Fret not of the past or the future
All of which is uncontrollable
Otherwise the future is blind

A Rude Awakening

It's six o'clock in the morning when it hits, quite suddenly and unexpected. A squeezing pain in the center of the chest, odd; it feels like a charlie horse one would get in the leg after exercising, only I'm not exercising! I'm in bed asleep, dead to the world until 5:59:59 that is.
Rising up on all fours, mouth agape, tongue stiffening upwards towards the roof of my mouth unable to breathe (or I am and just don't know it) fixated on what is about to happen to my body. It feels like someone is holding on to my heart and slowly squeezing it until it stops beating; a one point I thought it had. I can feel the adrenalin now; the white noise is in the background waiting to pounce, sending me off and in to the abyss. I can hear myself say... No! No! Oh No! Not Now! I called out to GP...he is at my side in a (ha-ha)...heartbeat. I was able to utter these few words...Medicine Cabinet...Baby Aspirin...One. I can hear him cursing as he fumbles with an apparently new box and foil seal; (in any other circumstance it would have been funny) G returns quickly to my side and places one orange flavored baby aspirin in my mouth, as I chew and wait for the magic that will take away the pain; only then did I realize it had already occurred right before my eyes.

Third Time Around

Unemployed for the third time
Not collectin' a dime
This ain't a charm
It's causin' harm
And rockin' the boat
Treddin' water to stay afloat
Six years into a ten year note
This is no joke
Fallin' further behind
Only temporarily blind
Little is left to call our own
On a waiting list for a home

Disbelief

Zippered and Crack!
Now she's outta whack
That doctor was not a nice man
As she rose attempting to stand
Along came her friend
Telling her grass will bend
As the blinders came off
What was said was not soft
He thinks you are only here for the drugs
All I could do was shrug
He doesn't know me at all
This is not the valley of the dolls
Oh golly gee
That was a very expensive P

Old Souls

No one thought much
of that first touch
The warmth of the hand
we understand
When old souls greet
and the eyes meet
we understand
That there is no end
the eyes recognize
We are the prize

Sore Feet

Today is your birthday and you are eighty-three
You've done so much for my siblings and me
Working so hard to make ends meet
Coming home with sore feet
We were so young
Not knowing what was done
Only to complain
Unaware of the strain
We were in a zone
Now we are grown
Understanding of your sacrifice
It's our turn to roll the dice
And when they fall
We will stand tall
You brought us up right
Because we are still in the fight

The Cost For Freedom

On this path less beat, of the booth with a reserved seat
Anticipation of the coins drop, there in that shop
Time to reflect, details and calls of collect
No luck in finding, only that which is binding
At times I thought I had, only to find it Dressed in blue and red
With reflections of metal in the glass, I hear as it passed
Boot heels come smartly with a Whap!, aided by the metal strap
Along with the Snap! of a salute, must be fresh out of boot
Tribute fire in the background, yet another is homeward bound
To a booth wrapped in web, by the same Blue and Red
Within that tangled web of weave, presented to families
Empty words that seem sincere, that fell on deaf ears
Sorry for your loss, placement of the cross
To be by a shade tree, now the spirit is free

I found this to be true, standing here black and blue
It is something I must do, under this sky of the red, white and blue
Is it the powers that be, that set my spirit free
Or is it me, with the aide of the USMC

To the Mothers that raised us strong and true, this is composed for you

The Taxman

No one gets out alive
fore the taxman cometh
To take what he thinks is his
from the few
that have temporarily staved him off
To the many
that feel they can cheat him out of his hunger
So take what you may
try if you can
I will live again
another time
another place
I am an old soul
with many past lives
Yet only a few
in this old souls current life
that truly gets me
The eyes recognize

New Beginings

Now it approaching a new year bringing forth daily surprises in whatever shape and form. They say "Live life to the fullest", I say "That's for the rich". I can only afford to just live; one day at a time.
I'm setting the pace
It works for me in this time and at this place
with old souls like me.

House of Cards

Time sure does fly; not all of it is fun and games. Remember fun? those were the days.
Only now is it complicated and stress-filled. Life is what you make it; not always true.
Cards are delt and made to be played. Hold, fold or draw; these cards that are delt
are yearning to be played out. Only it takes more than one to play this game...of Life.

There is life; then there is living. I choose the latter; fore I have played the game in my past lives and have been forced into folding those cards that were delt. The choice was made by others for the greater good of and for me; but how could this be? they don't even know me.

I am only at the surface of discovering the spirit within me.

The Meter

Inspired to write
On this stormy nite
As the lites flicker
How's that ticker?
Check and balance
For the allowance
Of that meter
Does it come with a heater?

Being There

Lost in space Time
Flies
Whatever IT is
I'm there
Pain and suffering
Daily
Don't forget your meds
Baby
Comforting feeling
I am not alone on this journey

Mother

Truth laced with deception
leaves an impression
Not of the entire story
telling only of the glory
To the loved ones left behind
in between those lines
Of a heart that bleeds
what it desperately needs
Deep within the trenches
hunkered down one flenches
A body lay twisted and broken
by that which is unspoken
Shrapnel all around
dig deeper underground
For that which is in the mix
while protecting one six
When filling in the blanks
watch those flanks
Honor the code that was spoken
never to be broken

A Wing And A Prayer

My house mate and I got the boot at the same time
He sold his and I sold mine
My sibling reneged on our deal
Got a six by twelve U-haul at a steal
Packed what little was left in tubs and crates
Left room in the rig if no Motel eight
Headed west on a wing and a prayer
Out of hells gates and into the lions' lair
Jobless and homeless while on the road
It took weeks to find a temporary abode
I now have a roof over my head
For how long that cannot be said
Only unpacking what I need
It's amazing what little one can survive on indeed
When I find a more permanent home
There will be more unpacking for you to own